Here's the thing. Despite my smile, I live in darkness. I want to let the sun in but my mind is always thunderstorms.
I am an anchor. I weigh down the people around me. I drag them deep into myself and my darkness. I fear I am doing that to my husband.
He is a tree. Strong, resilient, protecting what needs it. Trees don't belong in the ocean.
The depths of the ocean are cold and lonely and that's how I should be. I feel guilty. Because no matter what, my brain will say he deserves better. I am never the best; I won't let myself be.
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